I’m praying for money…. It’s a weird thing to pray for really because it seems rather shallow. But here’s the thing. I don’t want to homeschool the kids anymore. I just don’t. Oh, I have those mixed feelings because I still love having them home with me. But I want to have them home with me. I no longer want to be their teacher.
But we live in a crappy, crappy school district. I have friends with their kids in this district and NOPE. Especially not my older son who would be entering high school. Nope.
So I need money so that we can send them to Catholic school which is what most of my friends who live here do. It’s either that or homeschool. Those are the options. I have one friend who just assured me that we would qualify for some financial aid. Sure, we would probably qualify for SOME financial aid. But we live paycheck to paycheck already. I struggle every year to buy the kids their homeschool co-op books. I struggle to put them into some basic activities, nothing overly expensive.
We need money.
I hoped to work some this summer, but it did not work out. Even so, it wouldn’t be enough to commit to sending to private school.
I truly regret that I did NOT take a job that I was offered awhile back. At that time, I hesitated to put the kids in school because most of them were totally against it. Two of them cried at the mere discussion of it. So I went with my heart which was ultimately linked to their hearts. Because the thing is, my heart KNOWS that my teaching is just not what it should be. (hence the co-op)…. But I have to teach there too. I choose somewhat easy things to teach. i prefer the littler kids. But the thing is, I DON’T WANT TO TEACH!!!! (unless it is yoga, I would love to teach yoga)
So I’m stuck. I’m stuck homeschooling because I don’t think God is going to suddenly throw enough money at me to stick the kids in school. I’m going to trudge along quite unhappily because I know I’m not doing what I should be doing.
So Heavenly Father, if you are listening, I could really use some sort of miracle here.