Lack of Willpower versus Alcoholism

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I was thinking today about my drinking problem.  I don’t actually have a drinking problem (no, this is not DENIAL).  What I have is a willpower problem.  (I also have a laziness problem, but that is a whole other post)

I enjoy an adult beverage.  I also enjoy coffee.  I love tacos or anything other mexican food. Pasta, chocolate, and Jelly bellies are a few of my other weaknesses.

And that’s what these things are for me:  weakness.  Indulgence.

And I have a willpower problem.

In the summertime, moreso than in the spring, I crave a glass of wine in the evenings.  There’s something about the hot summer weather that makes white wine (especially bubbly white wine) sound so appealing.  Come fall, I’ll be too busy with kids’ activities to even think about having a glass or two (or three) of wine every evening.

Then the holidays will hit and I’ll start craving again.  That usually lasts through Christmas or New Years depending upon the year.

Then, once again, kids’ activities will reign supreme and I won’t have time to indulge in adult beverages.

I always manage to find time to indulge in tacos, chocolate, pasta, and coffee.

But I was really contemplating on my lack of willpower today.  And I was thinking of those who are alcoholics.  And I wonder when that fine line is crossed.  I’m thinking I was probably pretty close after my son died.  I was definitely using alcohol to escape during that time.  I was definitely getting close to a point of NEEDING the alcohol every night.  I was close.  I know I was close to that line.

Thankfully, I stepped away from the line.  I think how easily I could have crossed that line into a different messed up world.   Now I simply live the life of a busy mom who often gives into her cravings, be they tacos or wine, when she has time for them….

I would love to have more willpower.  I’m not gonna lie to you.  Perhaps I could shed these pesky pounds that seem to stick to me like super glue if I didn’t drink wine, eat chocolate, inhale tacos.

Perhaps.

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